Directed by Patrick Lussier
Review based upon a theatrical screening in 2009
When I was younger (ok, much younger) I used to go into the local video store and head straight for the horror section. Each of the tall shelves (several of which I couldn't even reach at the time) were covered in dodgy 70’s and 80’s B-Movie titles with slip cases that screamed for my attention. At one point many of them came in plastic cases with blown-out 3D representations of such icons as The Toxic Avenger on the front. Some twenty years later I was reminded of this experience very strongly as I sat in the cinema wearing my ‘Real-3D’ glasses (none of the red and blue rubbish from “Friday the 13th 3D” or “Freddy’s Dead” here). Why was this? Because that moment in my youth perfectly sums up “My Bloody Valentine 3D”: fun, stupid, full of gore, looks nice and promises a great deal. But does it deliver?
A remake of one of the original ‘Video Nasties’, “My Bloody Valentine 3D” opens with a group of largely nondescript teens arriving for a party at an abandoned mine in the town of Harmony, where (as the credits helpfully inform us) all manner of unpleasantness took place at the hands of Harry Warden, a gas mask wearing miner with a penchant for using his large pickaxe on unsuspecting victims. Although missing and presumed dead, one of the teens Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles), is convinced that Warden still lurks in the mines and that a party is simply asking for trouble.
After the inevitable massacre where Tom and a few friends find themselves as the only survivors, we jump forward to the present day where Hanniger returns t
o Harmony to sell his Father’s mine to developers. As he returns so does Warden, who continues where he left off ten years earlier. Is the masked maniac still alive and out to claim the victims that eluded him on that night, or is a copycat killer on the loose with their own agenda? Tom seeks to find out once and for all what really happened to Harry Warden…Screenwriters Zane Smith and Todd Farmer follow the concept of the original film very well, and combine it with a “Scream” whodunit plotline to give the piece an interesting (if unoriginal) feel. The drawbacks however, are very evident from the outset: this is a traditional slasher movie with no delusions of grandeur. Put simply, if this kind of stuff isn’t for you then avoid it.
One of the most positive elements of “My Bloody Valentine 3D” is the use of 3D itself. Traditionally, such a gimmick falls pretty flat in horror movies especially, resulting in a strangely coloured experience which consists primarily of people throwing things at the screen in what most refer to as ‘the money shot’. What director Patrick Lussier has done here however, is create a flick that benefits from the technology but doesn’t just rely on it for some cheap thrills. In fact, some of the best moments in here don’t come when pickaxes are hurled at the screen (as the poster suggests) but during the scenes where you almost feel a part of the action, such as the opening mine sequence which has terrific depth of field.
Another plus is the fact that what is labelled as ‘Real 3D’ benefits from having a proper colour palate thanks to the sophisticated technology. As a result, the film is enhanced and isn’t just a distraction from what is unfolding onscreen.
Overall, “My Bloody Valentine 3D” is a blast for those like me who stood admiring all those garish VHS sleeves from their
childhood. It’s a reminder that slasher movies may be sneered upon by many, but that they can still be great fun if executed properly. Patrick Lussier is to be commended for helming a great looking film that delivers (unusually) exactly what it sets out to. If you’re expecting complex characterisations, award winning performances and cerebral stimulation then stay away from this flick. However, for those of us that like their horror served up drenched in over-the-top gore, “My Bloody Valentine 3D” delivers in spades. A 3D movie that ironically doesn’t need the gimmick to be enjoyed, this is the most fun I’ve had at the cinema in a long while. Make sure you catch it on the big screen though to wring the maximum amount of sick pleasure from this rollercoaster ride of silliness.7 out of 10
What was once called a "typical 80's slasher movie"... and a great 3D nostalgia trip
